JAFlores.com
MediaPlay
<== Previous Post
Next Post ===>
          To say that Dragon Warrior is a classic is a bit of an understatement (for me at any rate). Granted it didn’t have its own TV show like Zelda or have its face plastered all over happy meals, twinkies, and anything else that media-whore Mario could get his sausage fingers around, but it did spawn three sequels (three of which I have yet to play, but that’s beside the point). Although it wasn’t one of the first video role-playing games (RPG) to hit the market, it certainly sits right up there with Ultima and Final Fantasy in leading the genre to where it is today.
Released by Enix in 1989 for the Nintendo Entertainment System, it was originally a Japanese NES game by the name of Dragon Quest, changed in the US to avoid infringing on the trademark of a Dungeons & Dragons-esque dice game by the same name. Dragon Warrior had a very basic quest: kill enough monsters to gather the gold and experience needed to become strong enough to save the princess and slay the Dragon Lord. You had to find a few items to actually get all the way through, but it certainly wasn’t an even marginally complicated task. The gameplay itself was beyond simplistic and either you were walking around someplace
or you were battling monsters.
See that screenshot up there? It doesn’t get any more animated than that. Oh, there are sound fx and the monsters flash when you hit them while the screen shakes when they hit you, but there’s certainly no Call of Duty type action. I know I’m not doing much to convince you that this game was fun, but it was actually extremely. Thing is, you had to use your imagination. Now, I don’t want to go off on some pathetic tangent here, but today nothing lets you use your imagination. With video games today everything is laid out right in front of you, like a mindless movie. Dragon Warrior was more like a book in that it told you what happened but it was up to you to use your imagination and paint the pictures in your head. For example, let’s say you were facing our skeleton friend here and you were lucky enough to pull off an “excellent move” (a tearing sound effect coupled with double the damage done to the enemy). You could imagine that while screaming like Leonidas you sliced the skeleton’s head clean off and then proceeded to rifle through his pockets (the king sure as hell wasn’t paying you, you had to earn on the streets). Instant fun.

I remember one time I was playing Dragon Warrior and my brother was watching. He asked me how I could stand to play it, citing that it looked positively boring. It most certainly wasn’t boring then much less today and because my imagination supplied the action it was far more entertaining than any other game even by today’s standards. Don’t get me wrong, it could get monotonous if played for long periods, but that’s the same with anything. It’s still one of the best RPGs and it certainly stands the test of time. I recently played it again after 15 some odd years and I was really surprised but just how much I remembered (40 south, 70 east, follow Gwaelin's Love) and just how much it really inspired me to write the Quest Saga. I’m not going to say that it inspired the actual story concept as I had been doing the knight-slays-dragon-rescues-princess playtime fantasy for many, many years prior. Still, there is no question that Dragon Warrior was a big part of my youth and that it influenced my writing on several levels.

That being said, what better way to celebrate such a fantastic game than with a monster database!

Woah, ho! Wait, let’s talk about the heroes for a second. Dragon Warrior is loaded with people: soldiers too chickenshit to get your back in a fight, rollie-pollie merchants selling you pretty much everything you need at outrageous prices, poor schmucks that either give you good intel or know even less than you do, and even some lady who ran out of tomatoes (!?).  However, there are only three real hero characters, or at least important enough to have names (Edrick and friggin' Nestor don't count!).
The first hero is of course you Hero. You wander the countryside in your snazzy blue armor killing monsters and stealing their cash so that you can get yourself even snazzier armor and weapons to kill those bigger monsters you previously ran like a bitch from (not that stones can be thrown). The descendant of the great knight Edrick, you look for granpappy Edrick’s crap (sword, amour, tablet that seems to serve no purpose other than to congratulate you for finding said tablet). Edrick’s ancestor is you, so if you’re cool, he’s cool, if you’re an asshole, so is he. If you’re a girl, well then carrying the princess back to the castle just turned into Cinemax at 1:00am.

And speaking of Princess Gwaelin, she is the princess of Alefgard. At the start of the game she is being held prisoner by a green dragon in the Swamp Cave. At about Level 13 – 15 you Hero should be strong enough and have the right spells to tackle the dragon. Upon doing so, the princess will throw herself at you and *insist* that you carry her back to the castle and, yes, it does show you carrying her in your arms. Cute. I assume you put her down when you have to fight. Actually, it helps if you have wyvern wings or know the Return spell since that will whisk both of you right back to Tantegel Castle and negate the long trek back. The princess falls madly in love with you almost to the point of being kind of creepy. If you talk to her, she may ask if you love her, and if you say no she gasps with disbelief and keeps asking until you say yes. Then lovey-dovey music plays because she’s so happy. I imagine she might be the kind of psycho girlfriend that would convince her father to have you thrown in the dungeon because she saw you talking to one of the blue haired peasant maidens only to find out she was your sister. Truth be told, she’s not so bad, the way she drools all over you is kind of cute I guess. Probably the reason she’s so clingy is the fact that she was sitting in a cave for months without a shower and only a rock to talk to. That would surely screw with anyone’s emotions. To be honest, I do have a soft spot in my heart for Gwaelin, as she was my earliest girlfriend and the first girl that ever said she loved me; not sure if I should be freely admitting that. At the end of the game when you part ways with the king she *insists* on joining you and I assume you two fight together in Dragon Warrior 2.

The king basically is just there to save your game. He does give you some cash to start out with, enough to buy clothes (?! apparently, you start off the game nekkid!) and a club to bash some slime skulls. Why he just doesn’t take some armor and weapons from his soldiers and give it to you is beyond me, I guess he’s either just way cheap or spent the entire castle treasury on his subscription to Naughty Wenchy Wenches. If you die in battle, he will also bring you back to life, although he does take half your money in doing so. That’s not so bad when you’ve only got $10 to your name, but it is more than slightly annoying when you’re 100 bucks away from that 9800gp magick armor and he lifts 4850gp from your wallet. I’d say that’s a pretty crappy healthcare system, but really, is it any different than any other in this country?

And now the monsters. Although there are technically 32 different monsters, there are only 13 groups. In each group the monsters all have the same design but with different color schemes and/or accessories, while some even switch to southpaw stance. This is actually pretty typical with early NES games, and even in some later video games, it saved time and money during an era when we were floored by games that had graphics that actually looked like what they were supposed to be as opposed to a red square going against a bigger slightly redder square. Who cares if Bald Bull and the Sandman were bruddas from different muddas, at least they actually looked like boxers.

All enemies give you gold and experience points, and while experience is for the most part static, the amount of gold a particular monster gives and even their level of hit points tend to vary from battle to battle, particularly with the stronger enemies. For instance, a Goldman will give you about 200 gold, roughly between 150 and 210, or a wyvern may bite it after 38 hit points instead of the usual 42. It just depends on the game’s general mood at the time of the battle.
These happy-go-lucky Hersey’s Kisses are the weakest group of enemies and even bare knuckled they don’t pose too much of a challenge (wouldn’t advise that, though; there’s nothing more humiliating then getting killed by a slime of all things). Dragon Warrior is cool in that as you become a more powerful warrior the weaker enemies will run away from you, generally when you get to the point that you can slay them in one blow. Slimes, the weakest, are the first to run, although sometimes they hang around. In that event, sometimes when I’m up into the higher levels I’ll run away from them. They’re just so cute with their Bambi eyes and adorable grins. It warms my heart that the little slime is able to run off to their friends and brag how they scared off the great heir of Edrick; maybe it’ll even help the bugger get laid. Of course, other times they catch me during one of those moods when I just want to kick the shit out of something.

Metal slimes are a little more complex than their green and red brethren. Even though they only have 4 hit points, they are damn near impossible to kill. You’ll meet up, hit it and take off one point and then it’ll respond in turn. Just when you’re right about to nail the deathblow, it’ll run away every time without fail denying you 115 Experience points! Very aggravating, like getting two jackpot symbols on a slot machine and have the third space come up empty. It makes you seek out green and red slimes to slap around. Of course, once you get Edrick’s Sword, which is described as being able to cut steel, the metal slimes fall just as quickly as the other two. Of course, that's when they just become that much rarer.
Drakees are a slight step up from slimes, a little more challenging but not much. It’s like how subtraction is a little more difficult than addition. Magidrakees are actually one of the first to cause you to wet your pants because when you first see them you’re not very strong and since they know the Hurt spell they can easily beat you like you owe them money. Never fear, because it isn’t long before you learn your own Hurt spell and can stuff fireballs right back down their Pac-Man throats. As for Drakeemas, they look pretty spooky and they know the Heal and Hurt spells, but by the time you cross paths with them you’re strong enough to crush them without much sweat.

Drakees are described as baby dragons. You’re going around clubbing baby dragons? Some hero!
These little bastards are some of the most annoying enemies you’ll face. Like a little brat making faces at you through the back window of the minivan in front of you as you wait for a red light to change, ghosts are just begging for five across the eye. Ghosts are slightly more challenging than drakees, particularly before you reach level three. Poltergeists and Specters, which only appear in Rock Mountain Cave, the Grave of Garinham, and Charlock Castle, can be a bit of a problem, but again that depends on your level and equipment. What makes them such a pain is that the entire ghost group has a bad habit of dodging your attacks. Like, a whole lot. What should only take one hit can go for four rounds because each time you take a swipe at that goofy 99cent store witch’s hat they dodge out of the way and laugh at you (yes, there is a synthesized bubbly laugh that plays and it is so annoying). Grrrrrrrrrrrr! The worst thing about ghosts (not so much the other two, though) is when they start running from you. I swear, they run more often than slimes do. Making it worse is that while walking through the fields near the castle a ghost appears every two steps only to run away. Thus, because of these little wastes of time it’ll take you five times as long to get to where you want to go. I highly recommend Faery Water or the Repel spell in this case. I don’t mind letting slimes or even drakees off the hook every now and then, but ghosts? I take great pleasure in torturing po’ man’s Slimer.
Magicians are the first actual challenge you’ll run into and the first time you bite it, it’ll probably be at fat boy’s sausage hands. In the beginning of the game when your Level 2 club takes off 3 HP and his Hurt spell takes off 9 or more from you, yeah he can be somewhat scary. However, it isn’t long before you’re laughing at yourself for running from him.  Once magicians start running from you, an interesting thing happens: you meet one, he’ll run, and not three steps later another appears that you kill with one shot. This happens an awful lot. I always imagined that after the magician ran, probably wheezing and gasping with each step, the hero would take off after him and catch up (not exactly a chore, I’m sure) only to slam an axe into his back. The hero had no problem clubbing baby dragons, after all. As for Warlocks and Wizards, by the time you make their acquaintance you should have the Stopspell spell in you holster. Using Stopspell blocks your enemy’s spells, both hurt and heal. This is more important than you realize, as many times magic users won’t realize their spell is blocked and will cast away, giving you a free attack every time. Wizards do tend to be a bit smarter, and if you block their spell they’ll resort to poking you with their sticks. Fat bastards!
There’s not a whole lot to say about scorpions, just big bugs. The only differences between the three are their colors and their strength. They’re pretty tough when you first meet them, but they are suckers for the Sleep spell. They don’t poison you (like I said earlier, Dragon Warrior is extremely basic in its gameplay) which is good because the areas they inhabit are crawling with them. I have always wondered if those little white dots on their faces are eyes or fangs, you can look at it either way I guess.
Skeletons are pretty strong, but again it just depends on your level. Skeletons and Wraiths will run away after a point, although the other two brands will not (that’s typical of all the monster groups, except for the dragons, none of which ever run {at least in my experience}). Wraiths and Wraith Knights are just stronger, more resilient skeletons that happen to know the Heal spell. There’s no real need to waste the magic points on casting the Stopspell especially if you’re packing a good weapon. They’re all good for collecting gold but lack in the experience point department.

The last skeleton is a rather interesting fellow. Referred to as Shadow Knight in the literature and Demon Knight in the actual game, this jerk is actually cause for alarm and an irritated roll of the eyes. He’s ligit tough, definitely capable of whacking you off early on and shaving off a good chunk of HP later on. He doesn’t cast any spells, at least not that I can remember, but then none of your spells work on him either. No Hurt, Hurtmore, or Sleep, you gotta just suck it up and swing for the fences. They even keep you from running away most of the time, so if you meet up with one before you’re ready, you can expect to give up half your gold right then and there. What actually makes him such a pain is the fact that out of all of the enemies, the Shadow (Demon) Knight is the most likely to dodge your attack, I’d say at a rate of about 85%. Not even the Ghost group dodges as much, and we’ve already established that those slippery sumabitches are hard to hit. When you run into a Shadow (Demon) Knight, expect to go at least five rounds, even if it only takes one or two hits to kill it since apparently it bounces around as if it were at a club in Fire Island dancing to Jen Lasher while on X.
Like Scorpions, there’s not a lot to say about wolves. They’re about as tough of skeletons without the bitter Shadow (Demon) Knight aftertaste, but they’re actually pretty easy to kill. Generally, you’re supposed to meet each monster in order of toughness within their particular group. However, for some reason I always, always meet up with Wolflords before Wolves. Because of this, and the fact that Wolflords are actually pretty simple to beat up, I always assumed that Wolves were the stronger of the two. Wolflords also succumb to the same mental illness afflicting several magic using monsters, Stopspell Overuse. More often than not, their first attack will be to cast the Stopspell on you in an attempt to sterilize your spell casting ability. It doesn’t work too often, more so the stronger you become. That doesn’t stop them from try try trying again until they get it right; I guess they read The Little Engine That Could one too many times, perhaps they should have picked up the Art of War instead. This means that even though you’re kicking the crap out of them without the use of any spells, they will keep casting Stopspell. You’d be surprised how many times you come out of a several round battle with a Wolflord without a scratch because they’re too stupid to alter their gameplan.
Of all the monster groups, the stonemen are probably the most diverse. Golem appears only once in the game, at the entrance to the castle town known as Cantlin, a massive city with all the best weapons and armor for sell. It’s a little unclear why the Golem is there, some townsfolk make it sound like it’s protecting the city from other monsters while others say that the Golem is more of a curse keeping them all trapped until the end of time. Either way, it’s got to go. Although it’s not completely necessary, you can use the Faery Flute (found in the forest village Kol 4, steps south of the fountain) in battle. The odd trill of the flute will put the Golem to sleep and make it easier to fight. Of course, there are really only two directions the flute will go: either it’ll put the Golem to sleep for just about the entire duration of the fight or the Golem will wake up after every blow you deliver, there’s hardly any middle ground there. For as tough as it can be, Golem doesn’t give you crap in gold or experience. I guess Enix figured access to Cantlin was reward enough.

Goldman's big claim to fame, aside from owning a pharmacy in Quahog, RI,  is that it’s made of gold, thus you can pick up quite a good chunk of change upon its defeat. The funny thing is that when you actually need gold for a better weapon or armor, his gold ass is nowhere to be found. You’ll eventually get to the point when you no longer need gold (you can actually reach a limit) and then Goldmen are coming out of the woodwork, which sucks because 6 experience points per Goldman is a joke when you need 1500 to reach the next level.

Stoneman only appears in Charlock Castle, home of the Dragon Lord. He’s the toughest and strongest of all monsters (although the Red Dragon and Armored Knight are actually more difficult to deal with). With the most hit points, even at level 25 or higher a fight can go 3 or 4 rounds during which he’ll ring your bells to the tune of 40 or more HP per ding-dong. Spells are completely ineffective against it, but it doesn’t know the Stopspell so you are free to use Healmore before he pounds you to dust. Soneman doesn’t know any spells, not that he needs them as he’s hammerfisting the crap out of your skull. He’s not so much dangerous because he might kill you, but because he can easily wear you down before you can get to the Dragon Lord, causing a loss of much needed magic points on Healmore spells when he goes all clobberin’ time on yo arse, yo, before the final showdown.
Although technically different groups, Drolls and Druins are fairly similar. Both are only found in caverns, with the magical variety found in the deeper levels. They look freaky-deaky enough that you may actually be tempted to run the first time you see them, but they’re really pushovers. Drollmagi only uses Stopspell, but Druinlords can use Hurt and Heal, mostly the former. Both groups are decent sources of cash, but I wouldn’t screw around in any cavern at great length until you’ve acquired the Outside spell. Speaking of spells, I would assume that words must be spoken to cast them. That would mean monsters know how to talk, and I can’t help but wondering that behind that insipid mug the Drollmagi might actually be a proficient debater. Of course, he wanders around dark caves 24-7, so he’s probably gone insane to the point of repeatedly singing out the theme songs of both Small Wonder and Alf. At least you’d have a humorous show before cutting off his eyestalks. Actually, if you take off the eyestalks, he kinda looks like Nien Nunb:
As for Druins, they look more or less like big cockroaches that are trying to be nonchalant about watching you, kind of like the way a proprietor of a Chinatown curio shop watches you while following you around just waiting for you to cram that bootleg Mello Kittie into your pocket. I bet Druins squeal like the ED-209 that fell down the stairwell when you get an excellent move, which I imagine entails shoving your sword into its eye and slamming it onto its back.

Yeah know, I’m starting to think this game shoulda gotten an M rating. Eh, maybe it's just me.
Sharkticons…er, Knights are soldiers that left the employ of King Lorik, probably because the Dragon Lord offered better pay & health benefits. These loose cannons seem like they would be pretty mean assholes as they generally hit pretty hard and scowl angrily. Knights have the same Stopspell Overuse sickness as Wolflords, making them much easier than you would think a lot of the time. Stopspell is the only spell they know, but that’s what they get for partying instead of studying their spells. Axe Knights up the ante by using Stopspell as well as Heal and Hurt spells. One of them guards Edrick’s Armor in the sacked town of Hauksness. Edrick’s Armor is the best there is and it even heals you 1HP for each step you take, so it’s tempting to go after it early on. However, it’s best to wait until you’re fairly up in level as Hauksness is crawling with all sorts of baddies ready to tear you apart and paint the town red with your blood. The best tactic is to try and run from every enemy you encounter so that you’re not wasting health and magic before you get to the Axe Knight. Use Sleep to try and knock him out, although he doesn’t stay asleep for very long. And definitely use Stopspell, since he’ll continually try to heal himself throughout the fight. After putting your own axe through his skull, search the ground and you’ll find Edrick’s Armor. Unless you want to get eaten by a dragon or violated by a wizard, it’s best to use the wings or Return spell to get out of Hauksness.

Armored Knights are only found in Charlock Castle, and like Stonemen, they can really wear you down before you reach the Dragon Lord. Armored Knights use the Healmore spell, which completely restores their health, so you could conceivably fight them till the end of time or till they cut your heart out, whichever comes first. They also use Hurtmore, which blasts 50 – 70 of your HP right off the meter and they positively love the Sleep spell, making them extremely dangerous. Stopspell should be your very first attack regardless of how strong you are.

All of the knights look like you’ve just caught them right in the middle of a massive constipation battle; maybe that’s why they’re all always so pissy.
Pound for pound, wyverns are some of the most dangerous enemies of Dragon Warrior, second only to Dragons. Of course, once you reach a respectable level they become no problem at all, but until that time they will give you a lot of trouble. Luckily, all of them are generous with gold and experience. Wyverns are the weakest, but that’s like saying you’d rather get run over by a Prius instead of a Hummer; it’s still gonna hurt like a bitch. They don’t know any spells, but they bite hard and can take a good amount of punishment. As their name implies, Magiwyverns do know spells, specifically heal, hurt, and sleep. Magiwyverns loooooooove to put you to sleep and will peck your eyes out while you dream of them pecking your eyes out. By that same token, Starwyverns loooooooove to use Healmore and you will be fighting them much longer than by all rights you need to if you don’t use Stopspell right away. Unfortunately, Stopspell doesn’t stop them from breathing fire and turning you into Crispy Critter Hero.
Dragons are the baddest of the bad and regardless of your level they are worthy of respect. If you’re not careful, even the green album will be gnawing on your bones before you know it. All dragons breathe fire, which delivers massive damage and cannot be blocked by Stopspell. As mentioned before, a Green Dragon guards Princess Gwaelin and must be defeated in order to rescue her. Make sure you’re ready for the fight, because you cannot run away once locked in mortal combat. The Sleep spell works extremely well on Green Dragons, less so on Blue, and don’t even bother with Red. All three give you a ton of gold (it’s interesting that the amount of gold actually lessens the stronger the dragon, but honestly by the time you get to a Red Dragon, you won’t need gold anymore anyway). They also give the most experience points of any other monster of comparable level, and trust me you will most certainly be earning that experience. Be mindful of Red Dragons, they like to put you to sleep before frying your ass and putting you into a greasy bucket for later. Aside from keeping the princess because she’s so purdy, Green Dragons can be found in the south near Cantlin city while Blue and Red are exclusive to Charlock Castle.
The final boss of Dragon Warrior (if you count the Green Dragon that kidnapped Gwaelin, the Golem guarding/holding Cantlin, and the Axe Knight sleeping under the tree where Edrick’s Armor is buried as boss characters). When you get to the last level of Charlock Castle, you’ll find him sitting on a throne.
As soon as you walk up to him he’ll verbally rape you, going on this whole rant about how he’s so evil and you’re a moron for coming after him. He then asks you if you would like to join him, prompting a yes/no option. If you pick yes, he laughs (HA HA HA HA…) and then the screen goes to black and stays that way. You actually have to reset the game, and when you do you’ll find that your file has been erased. That has got the be the GREATEST thing I have ever seen in a video game! I mean, that it totally sucks to have everything you spent hours upon hours of gameplay building in the blink of and eye, but come on, a game that actually punishes you making such a dick move to join up with the bad guy? Awesome! The only way it could possibly be better was if the game restarted and all of the monsters had been replaced by soldiers with the new end boss being King Lorick. Of course this was 1989 and I’m sure the game barely fit on the cart as it was, but still it would have been neato. Alas, all you got for your trouble was having to go back through the entire game again (unless you took the precaution of copying your game onto another file prior to saying “yes, yes, oh god yes” to the Dragon Lord’s most evil offer).

Tell the Dragon Lord to kiss your ass by choosing the no option, and you’ll immediately be launched into battle. There’s not much to say about the fight, the Dragon Lord uses Hurtmore on you and none of your spells are worth a damn. You just have to keep swinging your sword and using Healmore to recover your lost HP until one of you breaks. If you manage to take off enough of his health, he’ll turn into…
Yeah, he looks like a tough guy, but provided you haven’t used up all your magic points and can still Healmore yourself, he’s really not too difficult. He blows fire and bites you, so basically a chunkier Red Dragon. Actually, Dragon Lord is either near impossible or so simple you’ll be asking yourself “what the hell, that’s it?” Level 21 and under you probably won’t even be able to get to him because of the Stonemen, Armored Knights, and Red Dragons, Level 22 – 26 Dragon Lord will more than likely beat the hell out of you but a win certainly isn't out of the question, and at    Level 27 and up you shouldn't have too much if any trouble.

Slay the Dragon Lord and you’ll find yourself back at Tantegel Castle facing King Lorick. He congratulates you and thanks you for rescuing his kingdom singlehandedly, yaddi-yaddi-ya. He then says that he understands that you must go off and rescue another kingdom singlehandedly. Princess Gwaelin invites herself along, again prompting a yes/no option with the no answer resulting a “but you must” response until you finally give in and say yes just to shut her up.
Actually, having her along would definitely be a bonus, provided she can handle a sword and doesn’t force you to carry her everywhere. It gets lonely out there by yourself and having someone to talk to would be nice, not to mention…yes, well, it would be nice to have her along is all I’m trying to say. I know I’ve given her a lot of crap in this review, but I honestly enjoy Gwaelin’s affection even if she comes off as somewhat clingy. If I were actually in the game I’d no doubt jump at the chance of having her join me in fighting monsters. Gals who can kick monster tail freakin’ rock!

And thus sums up my review and monster database for Dragon Warrior, an awesome game that I still adore and play with as much enthusiasm today as I did back in the day. Check it out if you are able, especially if you have a Wii and are taking advantage of that deal where you can download old NES games.

I give Dragon Warrior ten pictures of me carrying Gwaelin. Cute.
02-07-09
Email Me! Jraptor369@hotmail.com